#oh you thought you were partners | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inkskinned · 4 months ago

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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

#spilled ink #writeblr #i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience #that i think is specific to the internet generation #where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy #sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw #like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex #bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is #something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it

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my-thoughts-and-junk · 2 months ago

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finished helluva boss and now i have Thoughts

#random thoughts #hell #give me more fat characters. where is the body diversity 🔫 stop showing me twinks #i don't like that stella is so monstorously evil. like i enjoy it but i think stolas would be a more compelling character #if his cheating wasn't excused by the narrative #i think she should still be evil but less of an idiot about it #like for the first whatever years of their marriage they're partners who work together to raise their daughter. like platonic life partners #and stolas is like 'Yes this Must be what love is' because he Does care for her but he doesn't have the life experience to quantify it #so when he and blitzo meet (btw i Do think the 'they were childhood friends' thing is. lame? it's lame)#he gets swept away by just how much he's feeling #so he has an affair which he's hiding from his wife until some pictures of stolas and blitzo hit the tabloids #nothing TOO incriminating so the cat's not out of the bag but enough where he's like 'shit man i have to tell my wife'#so he does and he's thrown off by how much more worried she is about their image (and how stolas may ruin it)#than she is about their relationship #so she's preparing all this damage control and he's like '? excuse me? i CHEATED on you are you? are you not getting that?'#and then she reveals that yeah of course they're in a loveless marriage she thought he KNEW #the IMPORTANT thing is not risking their REPUTATION stolas!!!#so basically she's been kind to him all these years to make the best out of a bad situation and doesn't really actually like him as a person #so she's like 'you can fuck your little imp all you want just keep it where no one can see you'#and when he eventually DOES divorce her she's PISSED because how DARE he ruin the life SHE worked so hard on???#and that's when she starts trying to get him assassinated before the divorce can be finalized (so she can inherit)#(i know there's different inheritence laws in universe but i don't remember then rn okay sue me)#and maybe if she's afraid of octavia inheriting before her she could be like 'actually she was never his so we never had a true heir'#because she HAS cheated on him before and oh god now i really like the idea of octavia not being stolas's biological daughter #basically my ideal stella is hannah gill but one who thought truman was aware their marriage was a sham #haha 'you thought we were in love? that i loved YOU? i knew you were sheltered but i didnt think you were that STUPID'#the closest she gets to being upset about the affair personally is that he cheated on her with an IMP??? are you TRYING to make her look BAD #but back to octavia because now i'm like a dog on a bone and i NEED to explore the idea of her not being stolas's #it's revealed by stella during the show and when octavia comes of age she gets some sick new secondary traits from her bio dad #her sperm doner (as she calls him) is some kind of predator to owls

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happi-dreams · 1 month ago

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Been playing cult of the lamb again :DDDD

I feel very bad for one of my cult members, honey who I have accidentally made dissent cause of the sin thingy over THREE times,,,

They’re my go-to for sin stuff now it’s just a bit funny

#I should add emmet and benny to it #sorry for the lack of drawings by the way my motivations been pretty low <:D #it’s okay honey I’ll give you a partner #it’s sunny #mainly cause they were friends when I was doing the lil mating thing and then I thought ‘oh hey honey should have a support system’ so #there they are !#also been rewatching adventure time #specifically Fern though #I love Fern he’s a great character I should draw him

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bonefall · 2 years ago

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More British words because I thought words like carboot and bin lorry was normal:

Chuffed: This is when we're really happy- like 2am-singing-karaoke-happy. Odd I know!

Brolly: Umbrella. Yeah this one's a bit odd as well. I've never used it personally but some of my family always say "chuck us the brolly" or something along those lines.

Crisps: Potato chips. American's PLEASE don't kill me I want to live

Bucketin' down: A term used to describe heavy rain!

Gutted: Extremely disappointed. I often use this- very loudly, might I add- to the annoyance of my family

Bonnet: Hood of a car. I find this REALLY strange and have never used it myself.

So there's some British words! I hope you enjoyed them!🙂

REMINDS ME, another thing that was wild to me was how "chippy" gets applied to way more than just places that sell fries

I went thinking I understood everything, like, "Ok. Chips = Fries. Crisps = Potato Chips. Got it." But then partner would say, "wanna go to a chippy"

Me in my head: (wow you really like fries dont ya)

But apparently the truth is... that's just what they were calling a small restaurant you don't sit down at. Like a takeout place. A chippy can sell chinese food. A chippy can sell fries and hot dogs.

This took me an embarassingly long time to realize. I really just thought partner wanted fries constantly. I was beginning to believe there were special, hidden fry places that I just wasn't noticing.

I also found out that "spanner" is unironically a light insult but considering the fact I thought they were a Fanatical Fry Fiend for at least a week I probably deserved it. I WAS being a proper spanner.

#We did get loaded fries at some point tho #And they were good fries #Cheesy and delicious with some gravy #Bone babble #To be fair to me though I was kinda thinking of the specialty meatball places that pop up here #My area actually has several meatball specialty places. They just sell fancy meatballs #That's the entire menu #Different kinds of meatballs with different meats. Fishballs. Venisonballs. Wagyuballs.#So like. You could write a book on what I don't know #Maybe England just has an obsession with turning different vegetables into fries. I thought. Like a fool.#Nope. I live in a place with a very special kind of meatball-induced brainrot.#And chippy simply did not mean what I thought it meant #Oh to be in the alternate reality where I went to The Chippery and got to sample different types of vegetable fries #Mmmm #And fancy sauces #Also I did enjoy thank u #The only one partner wasn't familiar with was Bucketin Down. Probably because their preferred term is Pissin #Pissin Down

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the-amber-droid-dreams · 1 month ago

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can anyone volunteer to shoot my ex gf into the fucking sun ? bitch just pulled some more bullshit a few days ago and i dont have the fucking time to be mad about this lmao.

#and to think i actually thought it was going to listen to me for once and try to be a better friend and person :))))))))))))))))#haha. lol lmao.#wake up you utter piece of filth you cant get away with everything just because youre conventionally attractive #oh its soooo lucky were on winter break right now else id warn this new partner what kind of fucked up situation shes about to get into #cant WAIT to see this one go up in flames too. ill fucking RELISH it because it wont be my god damn problem to put out the flames anymore #vent #amber actually saying stuff

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silverselfshippingchaos · 3 months ago

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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭

#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man #i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it #he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship #his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY #i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically #and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH #i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m #m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too #and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj #like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao #i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood #and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this #and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most #infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that #creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this #you were beautiful 💸

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whereisthedamndaddymanual · 9 months ago

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Sometimes I wonder about worms. Like where the fuck do they come from. You can dig and find them but it isn't like there are tunnels, they are just there, snails pace serpentine through the dirt and granules. At a depth shallow enough the dirt above doesn't crush them, yet deep enough you gotta dig a bit to really find them down there.

Just squirming and waiting to get hooked in some fish on a time waxing off the full moon.

#yeah I had thought abouts wanting to play woth your hair as I laid in bed after convincing you to try smoking...for the ballet #I'm like a meme #the world is a madhouse #I wish I could be happy with manisfestos of captial reigns of empires read in game format for his own mentality going forward for a time #no it's all i obsession over my power (kinda)....(more than kinda) but not in a selfish way which is hard to explain but true #the stakes are high and the valley is low #in the valley I slow...in the valley I growing #but an eternity for me is no time for you #some greater part of me understands the greater part of me though #put on a pedestal of willing enslavement #nah you were so hot... first thought....wonder when she'll finally work her way over....a couple dudes are like looking #trying to get the fresh set off #oh no the hot broke 18 year old that's the one #wow this is way more intimate than I was expecting #if it wasn't you I would have been like its cool you ain't gotta get on me like that #dance duh okay george #gorgeous is a word I have used to describe you.....this is truth #years ago before I knew I knew you a bunch of times already #telling her to call you trying to temper the Want in my voice #but....for it to work out she has to be cool. we all have to be cool #amd hot as fuck for each other #all deep and particularl #calculus #but even my 99 was dope because in chinese he was like you fogot +c #one time I missed a quiz but he was cool about it #I would like to lament I never got a reply to the email I sent him later #yes please be my super sweaty workout partner and then I get salt licks #they're soooo good #it's like shhhh #let me enjoy your honey musk

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mybrainproblems · 1 year ago

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sometimes you miss your ex bestie and then you remember they hetsplained your queerness to you and then friend-dumped you almost as soon as they got a serious partner and it's like.

yeah nah. missing them? wanting to try and patch things up? that's the devil talking.

#tbh my only *real* regret at this point is not calling them the fuck out for the hetsplaining bullshit #i was planning to and then as we were talking i realized i had zero investment in the friendship anymore and it wasn't worth the argument #i can't remember the convo that well bc i was so thrown but they made a comment about me being asexual and uh. buddy i'm not?#you were literally there for me going through five different labels in two years? we've had multiple conversations about this??#in retrospect we were just absolutely talking past each other for a while before the formal friend breakup #i do not know why ppl get so combative about when you're saying literally the same thing but diff wording but only THEIR wording is right #also: main character energy so off the charts that idk how they get through life like that #not everything has to be Something. things can just be.#feels weird to keep getting annoyed about this bc i don't miss *them* but i do miss having a best friend #i do feel pretty fucking betrayed by getting told that they thought of me as a pseudo romantic partner even if unintentional #to claim the friend breakup had nothing to do with their new partner and then say THAT? oh fuck all the way right off.

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nazumichi · 6 months ago

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there’s never been a more complex and nuanced relationship than the one between me and this girl I went to high school with but now share classes with…… none

#raii talks a lot #I’m sooooo awkward just in general and we were never friends or in the same circles #when i was a junior I had a shutdown in a class and her friend was rude to me and she just kind of. scowled and whatnot so I was scared #but idk everyone else here is older by some so it’s just. “oh uhh. how was your summer”#she got a haircut and it looks nice so there is that. and she was a good lab partner. so maybe it’s fine #my mother is the biggest advocate of this “did you get her number” I’ll be honest I thought she wanted me dead mom

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transxfiles · 7 months ago

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every time someone hits on me or asks me out it ends up being because i'm a silly guy and i think thats so silly like what do you mean. i'm just a little goofy?? and that's what made it work?? insane tbh. in a past life i was a court jester.

#this is what happens when your mom puts you in a jester hat as a child and your dad went to clown camp as a teenager.#ig its in my blood or something idk. i mean im not complaining apparently thats the appeal.#idk man im just Like This. whoops.#cricket.chatterbox #oh yeah context for this post specifically:#barista thought it was silly that i said ''howdy'' and commented on it and started hitting on me #nonbinary person from school says im one of the funniest people theyve met (not to undersell myself but they really must not know very many #people) and wants me carnally.#and my current partner asked me out for the first time bc i told them a joke that was so good it made them laugh for like a minute and laug #so hard they were crying a lil

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seaquestions · 1 year ago

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part of me is glad to see the post where ppl r thirsting over yajima from genshiken bcos she looks just like me for real (no but for real for real) but every time i die a little bit because even just thinking abt genshiken nidaime makes me start frothing at the mouth with near rage. but oh well. They Don't Know.

#incoherent turtle noises #i have such intense emotions that are super mixed about genshiken i dont wanna get into it but like #for context i read it all when i was 15 or w/e and my favourite character was hato and i was rly rooting for her and madarame #even though they were kinda messy i thought their relationship was the most interesting of them all.#like even at 15 i was perfectly ok w/ them not getting together. but. he ends up with SUE..... motherfucker i'd rather you just shoot me.#it's not abt 'oh no my Ship' its the fact that it's such a fucking. backslide. for the series as a whole. and thats the ENDING.#Sorry sorry im getting mad again. i ranted abt this @ my partner a while ago. 6 yrs later and im not actually over it.#i lied i Did get into it

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omgitsbeewave · 1 year ago

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i made a kinda sad post and my Internet went off and tumblr deleted it....

i'm just sad today

edit: i saw and deleted it bc this one is more emotional and stuff. i'm sorry everyone who will read the tags

#i miss my partner #they are tired all the time :(#but we didn't spend time together since july #it feels like they want to get rid of me #and it works bc i don't want to annoy tired guy #i wish my partner choiced were lil better #i feel nothing but sad when i think about them #we literally don't text each other for months.#it just silence then i send them random art and more and more silence #GOSH JUST TELL ME THAT YOU WANT A BREAK UP OR SOMETHING #I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS WHEN I SAW YOU ONLINE AND MY ONLY THOUGHT NOW IS “oh #MAN #and if i start a talk about it it would be just like oh i'm sorry i'm tired you made me sad i'll go bye #i can't talk them about secret life bc it makes them sad too and i don't know what i can say #i said that i want to make them happy but everything i do makes them sad #I ONLY SENT A CLIP FROM DECKED OUT AND THEY SAID ITS MAKING THEM SAD TOO #OH MY GOD DO YOU EVEN NEEDS ME OR WHAT #I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO GIVE YOU SILLY MAN #sigh #i'm sad #bc it is #cw vent

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heroes-fading · 2 years ago

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i have not cooked dinner in a solid few weeks and i feel bad about it as a partner but as a feminist yeah my husband cooks in our house damn straight i’m useless in the kitchen

#to the women in my life..........who have male partners.......who cannot cook........FRIENDS #i cannot relate babes #there's an attempt among the WIVES of some of my husband's friends to do like a girls night thing #and listen #i'm a girls girl through and through #but it devolves into omg my husband cannot even go to the grocery store right haha #don't you hate it when your husband is incompetent haha men ammiright #i don't go to those anymore because otherwise i will just tell them to dump their husbands #why are you with someone who you don't respect and who doesn't respect you heterosexuality rlly is a prison y'all #WE GOTTA DO ~SPORTS~ FOR THE ~boys~#oh mgy do #my husband is not a sports person I THANK GOD EVERY DAY #it's just board games and video games and you know what i hole up and write fanfic and he plays games with his friends #also i did not change my last name #because 2nd wave feminism did not die for that #and the amount of shit i get with his last name..............#from these women..........#WHAT YEAR IS IT I THOUGHT WE WERE HAIVNG A GOOD TIME HERE #i'm having a good time personally #anyway #VENT OVER #tbh i immediately schedule wine with a friend when those girls nights happen or it's pizza night and sorry babes husband does homemade doug #h #i'm gonna cause divorces i know i am #at some point #stop having kids with him you already got a child babes

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phagodyke · 2 years ago

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actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then

#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now #+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said #+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc #i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone #but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me #and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay #like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc #the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck #like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao #or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me #and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call #anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not #like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals #also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now #gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to #i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby #ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public #bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc #boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo #.diaries

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ajjconcertat2am · 2 years ago

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still upset about the couple in my main friend group ghosting and blocking us all because we (the rest of us queer) call ourselves faggots

#also the poc friends saying their respective slurs #but its like oh so uou think were dirty for saying those words #you think we are gross nasty disgusting to be around so youll end a multiple year friendship without saying anything #ok #sbaisbsjs im sorry im just so upset #it was more than that too but i t really felt like every little thing they could scroung up to back that up #like u do that when u find out allegations not when someone said kms at a party once #they also thought we were having parties without them and lying about it like no!!!!#MY ROOMATES MOM DIED JESUS #AND WE WERE ALL BROKE CUZ GROCERIES WENT UP TRIPLE #like tbh everytime we had a party it got to a point it was always assumed and not asked we will host cuz they live with family still #which is fineeee cuz everyone in that friend group lives with family except the three of us who are roomates #but just cuz we are at home vibing with respective partners doesnt mean its automatically a party and without u #its us chilling at home #also they did this when i asked if they were coming to my roomates birthday who is supposably one of her best friends so im just like!!!!

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totsandnuggsrebloggs · 2 years ago

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@ the aroace community

Girl help. How do we survive?

#I’m greyromantic which is so fucking hard dude #how?#how do others do it?#the answer: we don’t #I was such a dummy #I still am #took me five years to figure out three people had a crush on me! and I freaking was so mean to one cause #I thought they were making fun of me! It didn’t compute someone could like me if they never met me or even talked to me???#I straight up said F you to his face!!! aaaaaa I’m so sorry!!!#I wore fucking CAT EARS to class!!! his friend constantly told me that he liked me and it didn’t fucking register that he wasn’t joking!!!#that girl in class who always wanted to be my lab partner and was very forward wasn’t just there to pass the class by copying me!#she was actually flirting with me! cause she liked me! and I thought she was just some kid! and she would always joke around with me and #include me and I was literally such a dummy greyromantic who didn’t understand what was happening! aaaaaaaaaa #literally there was other lab partners in the room smarter than me why did I think this??? my brain is so illogical???#my asexual brain was not affected by her!#aaaaaa literally sobbing oh my god ONE OF MY FRIENDS. THE MOST OBVIOUS IF THEM ALL AND I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST BEING SILLY #dude. I can’t. literally sobbing and crying #aroace #aromantic #asexual #greyromantic #greysexual #guys #guys please #how do we live like this?

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